Missing ideals

I miss the idea of the man more than the man himself. I get sad over the loss of something that could have been rather than something that was. That's the hardest part, knowing it is there, but never attaining it.

I was over B the week things ended. He wasn't what I thought he was. Now is even more proof, he said he wanted to be friends and would let me know when he was coming into town for Christmas - but he didn't. I found out through a mutual friend that he was coming into town and that "Ashley doesn't know." That hurt the most because of what happened last Christmas... but that's neither here nor there.

B sent me a "I hope you had a Merry Christmas Ashley!" text on the 26th. I sent back "Happy Christmas B. I hope you had a good time with your family." Trying to go for a bit of a burn.

I'm going to call him after New Years. I might as well. Maybe he thinks I'm upset with him, which I'm not. Did he do D-bag things? Yes. Is he an idiot? Yes. Did he lead me on? Yes. But that doesn't mean I don't want to be friends.

I've got a great life. I work in my field of choice, I have a great family, a new future-sister-in-law that I love, I have great friends. Everything else will fall into place when it needs to. Whenever that is. Until then I'll "keep doing me."