I like and don't like the lack of control. Alas, I did ask for the resistence.

First, I have to thank all of the guys that I've been talking to about all of this stuff. Thank you Nate, James, and Freddy* for all your concern. Thank you for caring if I get burned again. It really means a lot to me.

I met Sherridan on Thursday. Left the party around 2am ish. Maybe closer to 3? Anyway, we instantly became cohorts in getting Nikki and Freddy together. We've come to the conclusion they are basically together in a couple like fashion - even though they haven't been on a first date yet. So at the party I got kicked/kicked myself off the couch so that Freddy could sit by Nikki and put his arm around her. Worked perfectly. But I seated myself in Freddy's empty space which happened to be next to Sherridan. Okay, maybe I sat there purposely.

There is enough space between our chairs, and then other people come back to the party and sit in chairs behind ours, so he scoots closer to me unnecessarily. Then our upper arms are touching and neither of us moves away from it. Then my foot rests on his leg - yes, he noticed. Not that he moved from that either. We don't get to talk very much because there are very awkward films playing on the screen, but we do comment every once and a while on the screen. Eventually Nikki and Freddy fall asleep on the other and we look at each other wanting to leave them be, but also not sure if we should wake them up because it was getting late. We let them wake on their own, which I was glad about because I still wanted to sit next to him. I was trying to be constantly in contact. Made comments about his fake blood. Touching his shirt, his arm. The usual signs. Eventually Freddy and Nikki woke up on their own and we got up to leave. I gave Sherridan a hug as we were leaving. We got home about five minutes later and I got a text from Sherridan. We talked about Nikki and Freddy for a while. We had been texted a little over the weekend. And on the weekend we talked online a little bit. It was nice to get texts back right away.

Monday night after class I had a lot to do. I dropped Leigh off at home so she could go to her meeting. Then I went to my brother's house to drop off the parking pass we share. I was then on my way over to another friend's house to get the agreement signed so we could film there the next day. So I had to wait for Freddy to text me the number, which took him forever to do. Anyway, Sherridan called me. I was surprised. We texted a little bit on my drive home, but I didn't actually expect him to call. So I pulled over into the strip mall across the street from Freddy's apartment and sat and talked on the phone getting to know Sherridan.

We were both very blunt about it. He knows I'm into him, but he's not sure if he wants to start something. We live two hours away from each other and all that jazz. So we're just getting to know each other and things like that. Supposedly I was the only one he was allowed to hit on the party because everyone else was taken or was being crushed on by the hosts. Which is a bit offensive for me, but the hosts had already had their crushes on me and were over them. So maybe not so offensive. We talked for two and a half hours before I was kicked out of the parking lot because my car might have been towed - with me in it! We got off the phone a while after that because he made me go to Freddy's since I was supposed to do that over two hours before. We had the whole argument about who was supposed to call whom. That was about a five minute argument. We hung up and I ended up losing and called him back about 20 minutes later because Freddy's roommate wasn't at home yet. We talked for about 30 more minutes and then I had to meet with the roommate. Then Sherridan called me back. We talked until about 3 am. We had the who hangs up first argument.

I wanted him to call again yesterday, but that didn't happen. He might have been testing me because he knows I like a guy who can resist my controlling nature. I've decided that I want to talk to him, so I'm going to call him tonight after he gets off work. I think he would like that.

He has friends he meets up with in a chat room almost every night I suppose, and that I was the topic of conversation for a while. He gave them main points in our conversation and then said that I liked him. Go. He told me he told them the situation and such. I don't know what that means. What's the situation. And he is playing the game with me, in that he didn't tell me what his feelings are straight out. He's interested, but doesn't know if he's interested enough yet. But that makes sense.

I was asking all of the guys listed at the top today what I should do. They all were telling me to think with my head and not to get burned again. It was nice that they care.

Nate: Don't let your emotions make the decision, use rational thought. This is a game.